Regulation Takes 2
Bonus · published 2025-09-14 · archive #346

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[0:00:30] Andrew: Hello, and welcome to another piece of regulation supplemental content. We're back with our takes, and we got a new takester, Geoff. Hello, it's Geoff, the new takester.
[0:00:42] Geoff: The new takester! As I'm known around these parts. You sound like a Flash villain.
[0:00:47] Unidentified: Oh, no, the takester. It's Hi, the new takester. I can come up and takes at the speed of light. You can't beat me. You'll never catch me, Flash. My takester is too fast! Too hot to touch!
[0:01:02] Gavin: I love a deliberate dodge from a pre-existing word. Like, taker was right there, and you just spun around it. It was great. Takester.
[0:01:10] Andrew: Takester. It's the takester. It's not the taker. That guy's dead. The taker was my father, please! Oh, my God!
[0:01:19] Eric: It's all takes from an urn. My take on this might be that I love the takester.
[0:01:26] Gavin: I'm imagining Geoff doing that laugh, and then it does, like, a Donkey Kong freeze frame and says, the takester below.
[0:01:33] Geoff: It's like a Borderlands 3 intro.
[0:01:37] Andrew: Well, we all are here with our takes. I'm excited to hear Geoff's takes as the takester. Um, does anyone want to open with takes?
[0:01:46] Eric: Does anyone want to go first? Uh, I don't know about going first, but when I was thinking about the takester, I started thinking about the trickster, the Flash villain, the trickster, which is Mark Hamill, and I want Geoff, just Geoff dressed like that.
[0:01:57] Andrew: I, you know what? I did feel Geoff was kind of sounding a little bit like Mark Hamill doing the Joker.
[0:02:02] Geoff: It's so funny, because in my head, I had one of those stupid, uh, jester hats on with the bells while I was making a voice. Oh! I didn't make the other connections at all, but I just, in my head, I was envisioning that hat.
[0:02:14] Gavin: Imagine him there, but played by Taylor Kitsch.
[0:02:18] Andrew: Oh! Now, that would be Taylor Kitsch's fault. That would be a rare occurrence in which he just took a bad roll from the get-go.
[0:02:26] Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Gavin, that would be a rare occurrence where he took a bad roll. It would be.
[0:02:32] Andrew: It would just make no sense, unless it was, like, a Scorsese takester movie. Oh, yeah. But, I want Gavin to go first.
[0:02:40] Eric: Wow, I was about to say, I was about to say the same thing. I want Gavin to lead us off.
[0:02:44] Gavin: Interesting. Alright. I've done the, uh, the arsehole one. Okay, I've got one. Here we go. If your dog shits on my lawn, right, that's a golden bullet for me. That dog shit is now weaponizable in any way I see fit. I can fling it back at you. I can mail it to you. I can put it in your mail. Anything goes. When you leave me, your dog's turds.
[0:03:10] Geoff: So, it's not just if it shits in your yard, it's if it shits in your yard and leaves it in the yard. If they pick it up immediately, are you good, or can you still shoot them? That's fine, yeah. Okay.
[0:03:18] Gavin: People's dogs shit on my yard, you know, five, six times a day. It's the, it's the old, the old fella who's leaving it. Gavin lives on the dog shit highway.
[0:03:30] Eric: So, can your dog shit golden bullet only go after that person, or is it usable on anyone at any time?
[0:03:37] Gavin: Uh, it has to be a revenge bullet. Oh. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I don't, I don't think I can then, I don't know, use it against someone uninvolved. Yeah, I don't think that's allowed. It's a golden bullet with a name on it.
[0:03:51] Andrew: Oh. Wow. Bullet with a name on it. I, I don't like the imagery of bullet here, because I thought you were going to tell me that you could kill the dog without any consequence.
[0:03:59] Gavin: No, the dog's not to blame at all. The dog needs to go.
[0:04:02] Andrew: I hear bullet and dog, I think old yeller, like my brain just goes, that dog's getting shot. It's Christopher Reeve's dog.
[0:04:11] Geoff: So, if it's Christopher Reeve's dog, and he, in the alternate universe where he's still alive and walking, and his dog takes a shit and keeps walking, your bullet says Christopher on it, or does it say Christopher Reeve?
[0:04:22] Gavin: It says his, him specifically. Like, I couldn't then use that against your cousin.
[0:04:26] Geoff: Oh, okay.
[0:04:26] Eric: That was my question, actually. You knew exactly where I was going with it, yeah. Sorry, I was looking up bullet with a name on it, because I was thinking about it. This makes it look like you're going after your grandpa and your dad. It's just bullets that say grandpa and dad with dates. The dates, the dates look like you're in.
[0:04:47] Geoff: If you, if it did work that way, though, Gavin, that would be the most, most convoluted murder plot ever for a film, where you can just be, like, you hate Bill and accounting, and you want to kill Bill, that, I didn't mean it to sound like that movie at all. That was a happenstance. But, uh, you have to now get people, Bill doesn't even own a dog, but you just have to get people named Bill to walk by your yard in the hopes that one of them will let their dog shit in the yard and not pick it up. One of them's a piece of shit, so that you can then transfer that magic bullet to the other bill in accounting. I have to resort to, like, entrapment somehow. I was always surprised there weren't more COVID murders, you know? Like, people who, uh, have like, you know, like, say you hate your dad, he's the fucking worst, and he's, like, health compromised. Like, I'm surprised there weren't a lot, like, 19-year-old dudes who ran out and tried to get COVID and then take it home to their dad and be like, oh, no, dad, I got you sick. Oh, no. Well, I feel like the- Do we know that didn't happen? The beauty of that is that you could get away with it so easily, it wouldn't ever be
[0:05:48] Geoff: known. It might have been the- Yeah, that's a good point. That might have happened a lot.
[0:05:52] Eric: It really might have happened a lot.
[0:05:55] Andrew: I don't think we can rule it out. I thought, because I- it doesn't occur to me, naturally, Gavin, to weaponize the shit, I thought you were going to say that you had the right to then shit on their lawn. Oh, that's a trade-off.
[0:06:07] Gavin: Oh, wow. That is interesting.
[0:06:10] Andrew: You get equal- it goes two ways. I don't think I want to do that, though. There's an equal consequence to the action.
[0:06:16] Gavin: Because I don't want to take the shit there. I don't- I can't- it's- Yeah, it is uncomfortable. I'd have to pre-shit, and then I'm like the guy with the shit in a bag and my own shit. You can't pre-shit. Yeah, you can't pre-shit. I just think, when I'm watching someone's dog, when I'm watching the poo, come out of its anus, and then watching the man walking it just turn away as if he's about to walk away, if I threw it back at him right then, I would get arrested, right? Would that be some sort of assault?
[0:06:42] Eric: Probably. I would think so, even though it's, like, incredibly justified.
[0:06:45] Gavin: Even though it's a return of property.
[0:06:47] Geoff: Well, here's the deal. It would be his word against yours. And you have a British accent, which makes you sound more honest and authoritative, I think, in the grand scheme of things. But then again, you're also a foreigner, and we don't look too kindly on those right now in America, so that's going against you.
[0:07:03] Andrew: Yeah.
[0:07:04] Geoff: Yeah, I think I need the golden bullet.
[0:07:06] Andrew: What if you lured him onto your property? What if you ran out and said, hey, look, there's a bar of gold over here. And then once you walked over, then you threw it at him, and then I think you're fair game.
[0:07:16] Geoff: The irony is, if he was on your property, you'd probably get in less trouble for shooting him with a real gun than throwing dog shit at him. Interesting. Because it's Texas, man. And if he's on your property, you could pop him. You could just say he was threatening you.
[0:07:34] Andrew: Maybe we're going about that. Like, how do you plan to weaponize it?
[0:07:38] Gavin: In my head, just a shovel. Just fling it back to him on a shovel.
[0:07:41] Andrew: See, I think you need to build a turret on your house, and you just load the shit every time into the turret. See that? And then you're ready to go.
[0:07:50] Gavin: Ready to go? I mean, how do I already have the dog shit?
[0:07:52] Andrew: No, no, no. You're using other dog shit.
[0:07:56] Geoff: You can buy dog shit on Amazon, I think, in bulk. Sure.
[0:08:00] Andrew: But I meant more every time it happened, you would load your turret, and then eventually, whenever it occurred, you just shoot immediately. When he comes back around. And then you collect that dog shit as ammo to replace the one you fired.
[0:08:13] Geoff: Yeah. What if you went just as aggressive, but maybe to keep you out of jail way, what if you just installed a giant air horn on the front of your house, and then as the moment is happening, you just blare that horn, and it scares the dog to death, and the guy freaks out, and then they just run away. Probably stop the dog mid-shit.
[0:08:36] Gavin: Well, how will I know he's going to leave it there? I just, I don't want to affect the dog. I think the dog's good. Dogs love loud noises. It's the, uh, it's that bullshit owner. That's my take.
[0:08:48] Eric: All right, hey, that's pretty good. That's a good take. I like it. I like it.
[0:08:51] Geoff: I think we all agree with that take. You know how there's frequencies dogs can hear that humans can't? Yeah. Yeah. You just need to figure out the frequency that he can hear that the dog can't, and then blast them with that.
[0:09:02] Gavin: That's pretty good. Maybe find that brown note and have him shit his pants.
[0:09:06] Eric: Exactly. That's what I was thinking.
[0:09:08] Gavin: Yeah. That's great.
[0:09:12] Eric: I don't know that he knows exactly what regulation takes is, so I kind of want to show him like all sides of what regulation takes is. That was a very shit-based take, but I'm going to give a different take. Ooh. Yeah. My hot take for this, my take for, uh, for this episode is that Aaron Rodgers is going to win 14 games.
[0:09:32] Andrew: This season?
[0:09:32] Eric: Yeah.
[0:09:33] Andrew: Or the rest of his career? No, no, no. What are you talking about?
[0:09:35] Eric: We'll get this season might be the rest of his career. Air hockey? No, no. I love 14 games as a Pittsburgh Steeler. He's going to, he's going to lead the charge. They're going to win 14 games with Aaron Rodgers. His Achilles is healthy. He's been eating mud. He changed to a different helmet. He's not playing the first preseason game, so he's going to be even healthier than every other quarterback in the league. He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's poised to embarrass every sports analyst out there. Oh, they're going to have such a midseason. They might win five games. They're going to win 14 games with Aaron Rodgers.
[0:10:12] Geoff: I would be amazed if Aaron Rodgers makes it to week eight.
[0:10:16] Eric: Well, you better be amazed when he makes it to week 18, baby, because they're going all away to 14 wins. I'm not saying they're going to have like a big playoff run. I'm saying they got 14 wins under their belt. Aaron Rodgers is going to come out. Everyone's like, well, he can't scramble because he's hurt and bad, but that's okay because his new offense, totally redefined, totally different, totally foreign to him. They have like Najee Harris.
[0:10:43] Geoff: They have, I don't think he's there anymore. Is he not there? What about that? They got that tight end, right? They do. What's his name? Not, is it Fryermuth? Is that the tech? Yeah. Air Fryermuth. They got him.
[0:10:58] Andrew: So let's just go through their schedule really quickly. Oh, that's actually, oh, that's actually, you tell me where the wins come from. Okay. Yeah. Okay. This is great. Gavin, you're going to love this part. Yeah. Yeah.
[0:11:07] Eric: Let me pull up the Steelers schedule for this year. I got it. Okay. Go ahead. Steelers jet. Okay. Steelers jets. That's at the jets. That's a win. That's an easy. They're definitely going to win. They're coming out. They're coming out. One to know. Absolutely. Seahawks Steelers. Seahawks aren't what they used to be. They used to be, uh, they used to be a real Titan. They had the Legion of boom. A lot's different now with the Seahawks. It's going to be a close game, uh, but it's going to be Steelers all the way. Steelers Patriots. That's an easy win for the Steelers. I believe it's in division as well. So, um, the, uh, Patriots are going to play hard, but they're just not the team that they used to be Viking Steelers. That's going to be a toss up, but, uh, I think that the Vikings are going to be too thrown seeing a former green Bay Packer quarterback, helping the Steelers quarter. And that's going to be, that's going to be a win right there for the Steelers. Brown Steelers. Uh, Hmm.
[0:12:04] Geoff: That's, that's a given.
[0:12:06] Eric: Yeah. You know what? It's going to be closer than you think, but it's going to be the Steelers right there.
[0:12:11] Geoff: Don't the Browns have six quarterbacks or something.
[0:12:14] Eric: Yeah. They're there. Yeah. They're going to start a lot. They're going to start Shader Sanders in the preseason. It's such a lose, lose situation. It's awesome. It rocks. If he's good, they're fucked. If he's bad, they're fucked. It's so cool. Steelers Bengals. Uh, you know what? I'm going to say the Bengals win that one to Thursday night game. I just think Aaron Rogers isn't a Thursday night guy. Packers Steelers. Oh, that's an easy win for the Steelers Packers and Packers don't have anything going for him right there. Colt Steelers. I did have that's, that's definitely the Steelers. Like Colts are terrible. That's exciting. Anthony Richardson already injured.
[0:12:51] Andrew: It's been like three plays of him and he's done tough. The Colts quarterback last season, Gavin got in major media trouble because he took a play off because he was tired. Yeah.
[0:13:03] Eric: He's a non-ideal move as your game was like on the line. And he's like, nah, I'm tired. I don't want to do this.
[0:13:09] Andrew: He pulled himself from the game.
[0:13:11] Gavin: He was in the game and decided he was tired. Yeah.
[0:13:13] Andrew: Yes. And he pulled himself and they're like, were you hurt? And he's like, nah, it's just, whew, exhausting out there. Yep.
[0:13:21] Eric: So Bears Steelers. All right. Uh, it's, uh, you're looking at, you skipped a bunch cause you didn't even talk about the Chargers, but that's okay because the Chargers are going to lose to the Steelers. However, the game after that, the Bengals, the Bengals there Bengals are beating the Steelers again. They can't once again. Yeah. They can't escape that team. That's tough. So that's their second loss. The bears. This is where the street gets a little, a little fluky. This is the bears are going to beat the Steelers. And then the bills are also going to beat the Steelers, but Andrew run me through the rest of the schedule. And they went out. Yeah. Oh, Andrew run me through the rest of the schedule.
[0:13:58] Andrew: Bill Steelers. That. Oh, that was a win. Uh-huh.
[0:14:02] Eric: Steelers Ravens. Yeah. The, oh, the Ravens lose all Steelers all the way. Whoa. Okay. Dolphin Steelers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, oh, Dolphin Steelers. Oh, Steelers much stronger. The steel much stronger than Dolphins. Steelers Lions. Oh, Lions. It's going to, it's going to be close, but they're already looking forward to Christmas and you know, it's the Steelers baby.
[0:14:21] Andrew: They lost their offensive and defensive coordinator. Yeah. That's true. Big, big, big shout out. Steelers Browns. Once again, Steelers all the way, baby. And then last of the season Raven Steelers.
[0:14:31] Eric: Yeah. How many, how many games did I say they lost already? Was that, was that three or four? That was four. I believe. Yeah. So they went out and they beat the Ravens again. Easy, easy schedule for Aaron Rodgers Steelers. That's my hot take is that Aaron Rodgers, 14 games. I can't wait to watch the Steelers this season. Yeah.
[0:14:49] Geoff: I'm now so invested in the NFL season purely because of this take Aaron Rodgers, 14 wins.
[0:14:56] Eric: No one's going to see it coming, baby. Such a wild take. You're going to see Aaron Rodgers put on the black and gold or yellow or whatever their color is, I guess, technically. And that he's, oh boy, he's going to tear them up.
[0:15:09] Geoff: How many wins do you think, irrespective of, of this take, how many wins do you think the Steelers are going to get this year?
[0:15:16] Andrew: Who, me, sorry, or Gavin? Andrew. Gavin has no fucking clue. Seven. You think seven? No, he's our NFL expert. I've been waiting for him to weigh in on this. I think seven wins.
[0:15:25] Geoff: I pencil him in for nine. Uh, Gavin? This is, uh, American football, right?
[0:15:30] Eric: This is American football, yeah.
[0:15:32] Geoff: Four.
[0:15:33] Eric: Oh, wow.
[0:15:34] Geoff: Four one. Yeah. Tough season. Gavin might win this one.
[0:15:38] Andrew: When Gavin said, is this American football? It occurred to me that if we would have said, no, it's European football, I don't think it matters what country of football it is. No. You're not following it super closely.
[0:15:49] Gavin: Well, I didn't know if it was basketball or like ice or something.
[0:15:52] Andrew: That's fair. That's totally fair. I just don't think it matters necessarily. I think your knowledge is equal.
[0:15:58] Geoff: Gavin knows that the NFL season is much shorter than the NBA season. So, you know, four for an NBA season would be ludicrous.
[0:16:05] Andrew: It would be hilarious if you would have had an MLB take and we went through all of their schedule. That would have been insane.
[0:16:13] Eric: Well, that's my take. Aaron Rodgers, 14 wins. Great takes. Yeah, yeah. See, Jeff, that's a take that I'm heavily invested in. Yeah, see, that's what, see, Jeff, that's what it is. It doesn't have to be something so wackadoo. It could be something normal like Aaron Rodgers wins 14 games.
[0:16:26] Andrew: No, I hear you, man. That's a hell of a take.
[0:16:28] Eric: Yeah.
[0:16:29] Andrew: When I think normal, I think Aaron Rodgers. He's out there. He's eating mud. He's doing his thing, baby. My take, and this is something I feel very passionately about, keys to the city should work. If you get a key to the city, it should at least unlock every door that is operated by the city for a year. Let's say a year. Like all tax paid doors. All tax paid. That's a great way to frame it. All tax paid doors. That key works. It should be special. When I was a child and I heard someone had a key to the city, that meant a lot. And then as I grew up, much like Santa Claus, that magic went away. Now when I see key to the city, I just think it's kind of a lame thing because it doesn't even work. It's a pointless key. It's kind of an insult as far as an award goes. You're giving them something useless up front. All keys to the city should work and there should be consequences if you make a bad call and you give it to somebody you should have. There should be consequences? I don't know.
[0:17:29] Andrew: He goes in, the person, they steal everything from a place. Maybe they're robbing a bank. I don't know. But the key to the city should be a thing that holds a lot of weight and comes with consequence if you happen to give it to the wrong guy.
[0:17:44] Gavin: Did he get some keys at some point?
[0:17:46] Andrew: I bet he did.
[0:17:47] Gavin: Would you be mad if it was a key card or does it have to be the shape of a key?
[0:17:51] Andrew: Oh, I'm fine with a key card. Yeah, I don't mind necessarily the shape or the design of the key. It's more the functionality of it. Right. Maybe it's even a thing where like at the airport, you get to go through a special exit or whatever so you could leave more easily or come in more easily. Like you can avoid security.
[0:18:07] Geoff: What if it's a situation like my old house where you enter in a code to get into the front door? Can you get like a keypad code to the city?
[0:18:14] Andrew: Oh, that might be the most practical way to do it so they could change it every year. Yeah. As opposed to having to change the locks every year.
[0:18:22] Gavin: But you have to remain in good standing with your key to the city.
[0:18:25] Andrew: Well, I assume that they give keys to the city yearly, but maybe they don't. I don't know what the general. It'd be interesting to see the ratio of keys to a city being given away. Like, are there certain states that give away way more keys than other ones? I don't know.
[0:18:41] Geoff: It seems like there should only be one key in play per city, right?
[0:18:46] Andrew: Yes, absolutely. And I think it needs to be known who it is, because let's say we have a situation where somebody accidentally leaks their key to the city. Chaos erupts. There needs to be an individual responsible for that. Wow. Yeah. I'm thinking like serial numbers on the keys or if it's a code, like they just keep track of, okay, this is the only person with this active code currently.
[0:19:09] Gavin: The thing is, I feel like so many government or like state buildings are open anyway, and you're only going to be able to get into like the closets and the supplies.
[0:19:18] Andrew: Here's the thing. You commit a crime. You go to jail. They put you in a cell. You can use your key to get out of jail. Wow. They gave you the key.
[0:19:26] Gavin: There's nothing they could do about it. I don't think they're going to do your key for next year if you get put in jail.
[0:19:30] Andrew: No, I don't think, you know, you'd have to be incredible to get back to back keys to the city. That'd have to be amazing. Yeah. And that would actually increase your case to win next year, how responsible you are using the key in the year in which you were gifted.
[0:19:44] Eric: Yeah. I'm looking at a Wikipedia article of list of keys to the city in the United States, and it has by state and then by city, how things were given. And in San Diego, it lists only three. And the first one is the rock band, the Beatles. The second, that's in 1965. The second one is 2021 for a singer named Andra Day. And then the last one is May 23rd, 2023, the Lincoln Hornets high school football team. I would not trust a high school football team with a key to the city that worked.
[0:20:19] Andrew: No, I think the government would all the elected officials would get thrown out if that were to occur. You can't give that much power to a blanket organization, especially a football team.
[0:20:31] Eric: That's a lot of players, your house, man. That's crazy.
[0:20:34] Andrew: Wow. Oh, you should absolutely work. It's all taxpayer buildings and the mayor's house. You get a key to the mayor's that that also functions. You can use the hot tub. You can go there whenever you want. You can use the hot tub.
[0:20:48] Eric: Oh, no. Oh, no. I looked up Dallas, the city of Dallas in 2018. Dirk Nowinski. OK. 2011, Michael Vick.
[0:20:59] Andrew: Oh, yeah. Well, post jail, Michael Vick, but still an interesting thing to give you a post jail, Michael Vick. Like, that's tough. I like the idea of them giving it to Dirk in an attempt to keep him in the city. I didn't even consider that. Like, he was a free agent that year, and they were like, let's lock him in. He's not going to get a key to the city wherever else he's going.
[0:21:22] Gavin: Are they often, like, giant, giant, like, ceremonial keys, like the big checks?
[0:21:28] Andrew: They are. Yeah. Yeah. Typically not that big, though, but, like, huge for a key.
[0:21:32] Gavin: I wonder if anyone got a giant keychain to put them on. Like, who has the most city keys?
[0:21:37] Geoff: Who's received the most keys to a city or to cities?
[0:21:41] Gavin: Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
[0:21:42] Andrew: Oh, Eric with the diddy key. Uh-oh.
[0:21:45] Gavin: Oh, no. They need to change the locks on that one. Yeah. That's a big key. Uh-oh.
[0:21:50] Eric: That is a big key. It's not even, it appears that maybe he has a few.
[0:21:56] Gavin: Oh, man. No! He's got the biggest keychain. That's the same key, I think. Is it?
[0:22:01] Eric: He's just wearing a different shirt? Maybe he just travels around with it. I think he took the jacket off. I think it's the same shirt. Oh, thank God. Thank you. At least he only has the one. At least he only has the key to this city of New York. Well, I know what our thumbnail isn't. Yeah. Hey, but you know who can stop him? The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a key to the city is a good guy with a key to the city. Billy Joel's coming in to put a stop to him. Oh, God. This is, this is crazy.
[0:22:34] Andrew: A lot of celebrities with the key. It is interesting that the Beatles got them. That's an organized, like, that's a blanket thing. I think that's the right size. I can trust four people.
[0:22:45] Eric: Four men?
[0:22:46] Unidentified: Oh, no.
[0:22:51] Eric: Saddam Hussein receives the key to the city of Detroit.
[0:22:56] Geoff: Oh, no.
[0:22:57] Eric: That's wild.
[0:23:01] Geoff: Here's my new take. This is so crazy. If you receive a key to a city, there should immediately be a federal investigation opened up into what you're up to.
[0:23:12] Andrew: I will say the thing that made me really think about this, that I do think is very exciting, is I talked about recently in the podcast, there's a Larry King estate sale happening. And one of the things available is a set of key to the city awards that Larry King had won. You could buy Larry's city key chain. You can buy four of his keys to the city. There's another one by itself. But you could get a set of four different keys to the city.
[0:23:41] Eric: San Francisco, Miami, New Orleans, and Cincinnati. Wow. How much is that going for?
[0:23:47] Andrew: I think the top bid is currently $200.
[0:23:49] Eric: Dude, it's current bid $400. We could break into everywhere in Cincinnati. I think we have to.
[0:23:56] Geoff: We could say we're the only podcast with a key to the city of San Francisco, Miami, Cincinnati, and what was the other one? New Orleans.
[0:24:04] Eric: New Orleans. They all say they're like one of them is engraved on the back that says presented to Larry King, but the rest of them are pretty generic. So we can just say that we got it.
[0:24:14] Gavin: I love the idea of an icebreaker where you're like, oh, I've got the key to San Francisco. Like, wow, how did you get that? Larry King's key.
[0:24:23] Unidentified: Can we bid on this and win this bid and have these and then take the one that says presented to Larry King to an engraver and have them put an and sign next to it? So it says presented to Larry King and regulation.
[0:24:39] Gavin: They need to stipulate that they're not transferable. I can't believe you could sell your city.
[0:24:45] Unidentified: It's totally transferable. They didn't stipulate. Andrew, can we please, please, please, please, please, please, please win this bet? This auction.
[0:24:51] Eric: Can we just get to set up an account? Okay. Yeah, I'm good with this one. We should get it. That's fucking crazy. That's so crazy. Presented to Larry King and regulation podcast. Just like almost like scribbled, scrawled in like the way the way it's so like it wouldn't have room. Like it says Larry King and regulation podcast like to like the side, but it's all fucking like the letters like don't fit.
[0:25:20] Unidentified: Yeah, it's like when you run out of room on a whiteboard, you go down to the side.
[0:25:24] Andrew: Yeah, like the slash through Larry King with an R.I.P. next to it and then us like below it or above it. Dude, I got to win this.
[0:25:34] Gavin: We got to do it. If you've got the key to the city, they should give you a discount on benches.
[0:25:38] Geoff: Yeah, definitely. Definitely. We could also go above Larry King. There's a little bit of room there and it could say presented to regulation podcast and Larry King. Oh, wow. But I don't want to take it. I don't want to take away his accolades.
[0:25:51] Eric: Yeah, I was going to say I like having Larry King play second fiddle to us on the key to the city is I think fucking awesome.
[0:25:57] Geoff: That's pretty cool, too.
[0:25:58] Andrew: Just you attempt to use the keys. Oh, man, break into like kind of funny studio or something. Yep. Just like go door to door, try to open houses. I want to send emails to every mayor's office of this place and say, like, dear, dear city, I recently acquired Larry King's keys to the city and I want you to be aware that they do not work. Yeah, I could not open a single door. You may need to fix your locks. Just a heads up.
[0:26:28] Eric: Oh, man.
[0:26:29] Andrew: Andrew, this is a good take. It's a fantastic. It should work. Yeah, it should work. And I'm excited that we may acquire Larry King's keys to the city. Yeah, this is pretty good.
[0:26:37] Ad read: Grey Goose believes in the art of living, in choosing the pleasurable over the practical. It's why we craft our premium vodka in France using pure spring water from Genzac. And why you hear the celebratory bump of our cork reminding us to make every martini cocktail count. So go on and make every moment count because there's no better time than now. Grey Goose. Make. Time. Wait. Sip responsibly.
[0:27:08] Eric: Jeff, you've seen how it's played now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got your first take?
[0:27:11] Geoff: What do you think? Let me look through. I got a plastic is the best drinking device. If you want to be cool when you're taking a shit, you could put sunglasses on. I mean, I hate how when I'm riding my bike, I got to stop to eat. Do they, do they, does everything need lore? Is anybody talking about inverted versus verted controllers? Interesting. No, okay. Here's a take. You know how in America, we're in a bit of a rough patch politically. We've got the one side that's on the left, and then we've got the other side that's on the right. And they seem to be just drifting further away from each other, and it's just creating a lot of discord and misery throughout every facet of this great nation. And I've been thinking a lot about how to fix it.
[0:28:11] Geoff: How do we reconnect? How do we repair the sides, right? When I, like, it's basically we look at each other's teams, each other's side of the political spectrum like a sports team, right? And you're rooting for it. It's basically become tribalism. We've got the red team and the blue team. This has nothing to do with the cartoon I used to make called Red Team. You say so.
[0:28:30] Eric: You say so. Okay.
[0:28:31] Geoff: It has nothing to do with that. Other than that, that was a lampoon of this very same thing. So I guess thematically they're similar. But I think visually we could start breaking down the walls if we eliminate from the political spectrum anyone's ability to use red in promotions or blue in promotions. There should be one approved color for all political advertisements. That color should be purple. It should be the same shade of purple. So if you are running for Republican president, you're doing it on a purple platform. If you are running for a Democratic president, you're doing it on a purple platform. And if we're all using the same color, maybe that will psychologically help us to realize that we're all pretty similar at the end of the day.
[0:29:14] Eric: Oh, so like kind of like reset the branding.
[0:29:17] Geoff: Reset the branding. Yeah. For everyone. A branding, a left and right branding reset. Let's all use the same color palette and see where things go from there. And it would be purple.
[0:29:30] Eric: Gavin, do you think it's similar in England or are they doing like reds and blues and stuff? Like it's like they're like leaning in that direction also or what? I don't think anyone's going for purple.
[0:29:39] Unidentified: Okay.
[0:29:41] Eric: Yeah, it's available. Purple's available.
[0:29:43] Gavin: Yeah. We briefly had a yellow and blue.
[0:29:46] Andrew: Interesting.
[0:29:46] Gavin: Like against each other? Like it was like yellow against blue? No, it was like a coalition. Oh. Huh. But I don't think red was involved.
[0:29:55] Andrew: I think the unifying colors is interesting. I'm trying to think about it as like a sports team. I'm trying to think of like Shaq and Kobe, like they're in the same team, but they were still beefing. Right. Right. I'm trying to think of unity. Like I do feel like when you're on a team in sports, you're willing to tolerate somebody's bullshit, at least publicly. Absolutely. A lot more. Yeah. There's definitely room for that.
[0:30:18] Eric: So I do think it's an interesting thought. Yeah. If it leads to championships, then you know what? How do you, you know, how can you argue success? Purple, I think is an interesting color, like mixing the two and then just going every, like every sign or whatever branding you use has to be purple now.
[0:30:33] Geoff: And it has to be the same shade of purple, right? Because what is purple, but you know, combination of two other colors. That's it.
[0:30:40] Gavin: I'm imagining the effects this would have on like two armies fighting.
[0:30:43] Geoff: Or, you know, maybe, maybe it would be harder to fight. Maybe armies wouldn't fight because they'd be like, I don't know which purple guy to shoot. Oh, wait. We're all just, we're all fucking purple on the inside anyway. So why do I fucking hate you?
[0:30:56] Gavin: Did that ever happen where one army showed up to a fight with the same colors and they just had to call it off? I think you'd have to.
[0:31:04] Geoff: A branding confuffle.
[0:31:07] Gavin: Did Scotland have to send word to England what colors they were wearing that day? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[0:31:13] Eric: That's, that's very interesting. I hadn't thought about the issue being the color discrepancy between everything.
[0:31:21] Geoff: Yeah, I mean, there's a, there's a whole lot of social issues as well. On top of that, I just think that you, you tackle it in chunks, you know, and nobody's looking at the color palette as being a part of the problem. But I think, I think you might be surprised.
[0:31:33] Andrew: I feel like if you had the Olympics every year, that would also help a lot. Yearly Olympics? A yearly Olympics. Yeah. Because you cheer for the people in your own country. Like it creates some natural country support in unity for individuals in their athletic feats. I feel like that could work. I feel like a yearly Olympics would help unity.
[0:31:55] Geoff: You just gave me a new take.
[0:31:57] Eric: Wow. Wow. It's crazy. I hadn't, I hadn't thought about purple. I hadn't thought about a yearly Olympics.
[0:32:05] Andrew: I do like the idea that if everyone's the same colors, you're talking like battles become complicated. The idea of home and away, like they're sports teams, like they need to signal to each other. Like, this is my home field. We're going to go to war in my home field. So I get to set the color. We're purple. You're going to have to be offshoot.
[0:32:22] Eric: Do you think to test this, we should do it in the NBA just for like, maybe like a day, like just make everyone be the same color, like home and away. Like it doesn't matter. Like everyone just has to wear like the same color. And then we just see kind of like how it works. Cause maybe the confusion, that would be a lot of fun.
[0:32:39] Geoff: I mean, that would definitely show you why war doesn't work with two, with the same color. But I feel like at the end of the day, the whole idea of the politics in America is that the left and the right are, are hopefully working in tandem to help America, uh, using their two unique perspectives towards the same greater goal. Whereas in basketball, the goal is to crush the Lakers.
[0:33:02] Gavin: Everyone going in and voting purple.
[0:33:04] Eric: Yeah. Yeah. Hey, purple all the way. I like this. I like, that's a good take. That's a good take, Jeff. Thank you very much. That's my first take.
[0:33:18] Andrew: That wraps us back around. Yep. Gavin, what is your second take?
[0:33:26] Gavin: Well, with the, the advent of, of Lyft and Uber and other car ride services, I feel like a lot of cabs are sitting empty and maybe people are suffering because of that. Maybe the companies that make cab fare meters, what are those things called?
[0:33:43] Eric: Meter, I think is the right one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[0:33:45] Gavin: I guess the companies that make those are just like, ah, shit, I got, got no work coming in. Keep making them, right? Stick them on leaf blowers.
[0:33:54] Eric: Oh, wow. Pay to blow.
[0:33:57] Gavin: You're getting charged. Okay. All right. There's God. Okay.
[0:33:59] Eric: Pay to, pay to blow is maybe, maybe a different slogan than pay to blow. Okay. No, it's the purple party. I support it.
[0:34:06] Gavin: Yeah. But purple vote purple and we will put cab fare meters on leaf blowers. Uh, just to de-incentivize. I have a lot of questions. Yeah. Go ahead.
[0:34:15] Andrew: Are they coming with the things attached? Are you paying the company that makes them? Who's getting this money?
[0:34:21] Gavin: Uh, it's just legislation that, uh, they have to be made with them on. And then the only way you can, I don't know where the money goes.
[0:34:29] Andrew: So maybe it's a thing where it's like a gun and it has a serial number and you have to like register it. Yeah. And if you have one. Yeah. And then every year somebody checks to see what the meter is.
[0:34:41] Gavin: It should have all of entertainment's most annoying DRM methods to, uh, link your fair meter to the leaf blow.
[0:34:48] Eric: Oh, wow. I hadn't thought. Yeah. Doing DRM stuff to it is good.
[0:34:54] Gavin: Yeah. And then you could top it up. You could put 20 bucks of blow on there and, and when it's over, you have to put more money. Otherwise it won't work.
[0:35:00] Andrew: It should be a thing where it's overcomplicated and if you don't do it correctly, you go to jail cause that's your fault.
[0:35:07] Gavin: Yeah. If you do it wrong, it's your fault. And, um, in five years, there'll be a firmware update that makes it obsolete for that version of leaf blow. So you have to get a new one. Uh, sounds like our Sonos system at work.
[0:35:19] Eric: Yeah. Those are going in the trash. Those are going in the garbage. I hate those speakers.
[0:35:25] Geoff: I paid for those. Then make them fucking work in 2025.
[0:35:29] Eric: Get them to work.
[0:35:30] Andrew: I think that this is a really interesting idea, Gavin, even beyond leaf blowers, the concept of having like speakers that have a meter on them. And if you go over a certain frequency, you get charged that like you could inconvenience other people, like an inconvenience tax, like you're allowed to do it, but it costs you got to pay a loud tax. Yeah. A loud tax is interesting. Uh, leaf. You don't, do you think it would get rid of leaf? Leaf blowers? Is that the ultimate goal of if they were charged per use? Yeah.
[0:36:04] Gavin: Sometimes like if you're in a, if you're in an area with that, with bad signal or something, it can't validate and it just won't turn on something like that, something really cool like that. Always has to be always online.
[0:36:17] Eric: It's always online.
[0:36:18] Gavin: Yeah.
[0:36:18] Eric: Okay. Your leaf boy, your leaf blower is always online. Yeah. It's like a video game.
[0:36:23] Geoff: 20, 25 connection drops. You can't play it. Yeah.
[0:36:27] Andrew: If you want a leaf blower, that's not online. We got a thing for that. It's called the three 60.
[0:36:32] Gavin: Use your three 60. I was just about to mention that.
[0:36:34] Andrew: Um, I think that's interesting. Do you think it would maybe change your perception of leaf blowers though? Because now when you hear someone using it, you go, what an idiot. What a waste. If you hear somebody in the context of it being charged, would you then assume that this was a, an absolute necessity of blowage?
[0:36:56] Gavin: Yeah. It would definitely make me more interested to, to like go and see what's being blown. Like, oh, this must be some serious leafage or something.
[0:37:03] Andrew: They need some air. They need some serious air in this situation. Things need to be moved. I think it could make you pro leaf blower in a weird way.
[0:37:11] Gavin: Hmm.
[0:37:12] Andrew: In what way? I think there could be scenarios in which he realized, okay, you know what? A leaf blower was needed in this.
[0:37:19] Gavin: Yeah. I feel like you're right because I mean, listening to an ambulance siren for like an hour straight would suck, but hearing one for like a minute, you're like, oh, I hope the person's okay. You know, be like more like that.
[0:37:30] Andrew: Yeah. This is, could be interesting. I guess you'll really learn.
[0:37:34] Eric: You'll really learn like when a leaf blower is needed, like a necessary thing, right?
[0:37:41] Geoff: Yeah. I think it's like paying for water. Everybody will bitch about it for five years and then everybody will pay for water.
[0:37:48] Eric: Yeah.
[0:37:49] Geoff: Everybody will just pay for leaf. Exactly. It'll be like that. Everybody will just start paying for leaf blowing. Yeah. It'll just become accepted that it costs money to use leaf blowers. I don't think it'll slow it down at all. Maybe for like five years, it'll slow it down. And then it'll just become an accepted fact that this is just a thing that, and you'll, you'll, you'll struggle to remember when you weren't paying for water or leaf blowers.
[0:38:07] Andrew: Can you just buy a taxi meter?
[0:38:12] Gavin: Oh, like separate from the cab?
[0:38:14] Andrew: Yeah. Can you just buy one of those?
[0:38:16] Gavin: I don't see why not. Let's see. Sure.
[0:38:18] Andrew: It's never occurred to me that that's a thing you could buy.
[0:38:21] Eric: Yeah. It appears that you can just buy taxi meters.
[0:38:24] Andrew: Oh, $365. That is a lot less than I was anticipating.
[0:38:28] Geoff: God, you could buy four keys to the city for that almost.
[0:38:33] Andrew: I, you know, it could be a fun thing to install one of these in your car and just turn it on whenever you're going anywhere and think about all the money you're saving.
[0:38:41] Geoff: If I was an Uber driver, I would do that just as a visual gag. It would be good. Visual gag.
[0:38:46] Eric: This is how much it would have cost if you took a cab. And then they look at how much it costs if you go, that's about the same.
[0:38:51] Geoff: Or you'd just be like, all right, look, I'm going to start the meter. I'm going to start the Uber meter. People are like, what are you talking about?
[0:38:58] Gavin: I always thought it was weird how at no point with the, with new technology to just like a gas, like a petrol meter in a car doesn't have any monetary value next to it, but like it should be able to tell you how much you paid for that gas and how much you're spending in that moment. And I think they just don't want you to know and make people drive less.
[0:39:19] Eric: Yeah. I mean, I just, I kind of don't want to know how much it costs me to drive somewhere.
[0:39:22] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:39:23] Eric: Yeah.
[0:39:24] Geoff: I drive so infrequently these days. Same. Yeah.
[0:39:34] Eric: That's a great, that's a great take. Yep. Thank you. Is it me? It's mine. It's my take. It's you. Okay. It is back to you. I still stand by my original take. Aaron Rodgers winning 14 games, but I'm going in a non-sports direction for this. If you make a sequel to a movie, you have to honor all previous iterations of the movie. You cannot do these weird sequel reboots that skip a couple of the movies that you were doing weird soft reboots on and then go, hey, this one's for the fans. I hate that. I don't think you should be allowed to do it. If you can't do it, if you're not able to make the next sequel or whatever in like the lineage franchise of whatever you're trying to do, then you're not capable of making it and you can't rewrite stuff that already came out. Or if you are doing that, you have to refund everyone. Terminator, that Terminator, whatever, like the last one was, that just like takes place
[0:40:39] Eric: after like Terminator two and like totally throws out like five other Terminator movies. I should get refunded for those. If you are going to do that, I need money back. Like you, otherwise it's not cost effective and you need to just make it next one in the line. I feel the same way about the Jurassic Park movies. They keep doing this stuff where it's like, yeah, we're kind of like disregarding these other ones and like not, yeah, go ahead.
[0:41:05] Geoff: You can only build on the previous work. Exactly. You can't, you can't recreate, rewrite or alter it. You can only add to it.
[0:41:12] Eric: The lore has been created. If you want the lore so desperately and you want to do another one of like Jurassic Park or whatever, cause they did Jurassic, what Jurassic world. And it just takes place after like the first one. And I don't think it has anything. I don't, I think it totally eliminates like the second and like the third Jurassic Park movies. People paid for those. Yeah. Uh, people paid for those. Give us money back. Pay me.
[0:41:37] Geoff: How do you feel about like Cloverfield universes where the movies aren't sequels? They just all take place in the same universe.
[0:41:46] Eric: I'm fine with that because it's not necessarily eliminating stuff. I just think like when Rocky Balboa or whatever comes out and they just go, it's like, how is Rocky fighting again? Doesn't he have brain damage? Isn't that like the whole point of like the fifth one? And then, uh, they don't like, they just totally like eliminate that. Give me that money back.
[0:42:06] Andrew: So that's actually, Rocky is a great example because they do something really interesting in Rocky one where Rocky gets his eye really fucked up and that's a big point of Rocky two of like, he's not boxing anymore because he could lose his eye due to how badly it got fucked up in the first fight and they completely abandoned that storyline to create Rocky three and it never really gets brought up again.
[0:42:29] Geoff: Andrew, weren't we supposed to watch Terminator dark fate together? Was I, I was holding off on watching that. I think I haven't seen it yet either. Yeah. We still need to do that.
[0:42:37] Eric: Is that what the last one is?
[0:42:40] Geoff: Yeah. Yeah.
[0:42:40] Gavin: That's the most recent though. It has Sarah Connor in it. I have a question for you, Eric. How do you feel about someone whipping out the old multiverse trope to get around that?
[0:42:48] Eric: I see. I think that that's, I think that's the way they'll do it, but I think they're going to lose money doing that. And I think people will see it as a craven money grab for, oh, they're, oh, they're doing an alternate universe thing of Jurassic park or whatever. And everyone will be like, ah, fuck this. So that's fine. Go for it. But you, you have to eat the consequences. And, uh, like that term, I think like that Terminator movie did like really, really bad, like that newest one. Uh, and, and it's because it threw out so much incredible lore from what were some of the other ones? Genesis.
[0:43:22] Geoff: And that was, oh, that was not a great film.
[0:43:28] Andrew: I think that this could, in a surprising way, bring people back to the theaters. Yeah. Because I'm thinking about the requirement in getting your money back. To me, it's like when there is a suit against Red Bull where they're like, yeah, it doesn't give you wings. So here's a, a fund that we are refunding people back with. If you can prove that you bought a Red Bull between this time, you would need to be able to have your movie ticket to get your refund. If they do a reboot for the movies that they were, uh, removing the lore from. Um, so then people would be theoretically incentivized to see movies in theaters. So they would have their ticket to potentially get refunded in the future.
[0:44:12] Eric: Hell yeah.
[0:44:12] Andrew: So although they could be losing money by doing reboots, they theoretically might be getting more people in theaters under the assumption of, I might get to see this for free, essentially.
[0:44:22] Eric: Yep. There you go. Hey, it's a gamble. You got to take studios. If you're going to make another Jurassic Park that reboots the whole Jurassic Park thing, go for it. But yeah, give me my money back. Pay me.
[0:44:36] Andrew: Do you appreciate, uh, people like the, the company that owns Halloween refusing to let anyone kill Michael Myers because they need to make more Michael Myers movies and they have one thing and it's him. Yep. Just keep it going.
[0:44:52] Geoff: I mean, I think they, I think they learned from Halloween three, right? They're never going to make that mistake again. Yeah.
[0:44:56] Eric: Yeah. I think they, these movies, I, I, my last, like the last episode of takes was, I had like a lore based take also. I just think everything gets too deep in lore and I'm trying to dissuade them from making more sequels to like this stuff. Or if you're going to make them better. Uh, and if you have to get rid of them, then pay me money.
[0:45:17] Andrew: That's all. I do think it also creates a funny scenario in which movies, sequels are being made that make no sense. And then word gets out that they are this way because the head of that company refused to pay this movie tax. Whoa. So they just had to make it in this context that the last one left. There you go. Nobody wants to see this movie in this way, but movie studio didn't want to pay half the refund due to all the Lord changes. So we just are stuck with this movie. Nobody wants what we're making because it is a popular franchise.
[0:45:51] Eric: Yeah. We don't want to lose the IP. So we got to make another Terminator, but it's all in the vein of Terminator because we don't want to repay any of these people. Now we're talking.
[0:45:59] Andrew: I think it could also create interesting room for like complete genre shifts of what if Independence Day three was just about rebuilding the White House and had nothing to do with aliens. It's just a builder drama.
[0:46:13] Gavin: It just follows a foreman.
[0:46:14] Geoff: Yeah. It's just, it's like goes from Halo to road craft.
[0:46:21] Eric: I think it's a fun take. Well, thank you very much. That's absolutely. That's what I have. That's my take.
[0:46:27] Gavin: I wonder what that would do for the Bond franchise.
[0:46:29] Eric: Oh, very interesting.
[0:46:32] Gavin: This is a whole avalanche and crazy.
[0:46:34] Eric: Yeah. They're all wacky. Well, if they're going to eliminate any of them, give me my money. Pay me.
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[0:47:24] Andrew: I have my second take. All right. This is something I feel strongly about. I don't think anyone will be surprised with this take. I have a history with them with this show. I think advent calendars should cover every month. I don't think there should be only one month in which advent calendars exist. That's just mail. I enjoy. What do you mean? No, it's not. It's not mail. Because when I think of a good advent calendar, and you can relate to this, Gavin. December, you get your cheese calendar. You get a little bit of cheese every day. Some new cheese. You get a new thing to enjoy. You get a new thing every day. A new experience. Just a little tiny fun thing. I don't think that should just only exist in December. Give me a June advent. Give me some, I don't know, maybe it's a lemonade. A bunch of little lemonades I could try throughout the summer. Over a month.
[0:48:14] Geoff: I saw a, if this helps, Andrew, at Costco the other day, I saw a Halloween advent calendar. So there's at least one for the month of October now.
[0:48:23] Andrew: I did see, yes. I saw there was the Simpsons one. Yeah. Which is, you know, I'm not necessarily into that product, but I support an October advent calendar. Maybe it's a sign of things to come. There should be more months.
[0:48:36] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:48:37] Andrew: It should be. Yeah, I want to have fun every month. Why can I only have fun every day in December? Exactly. Well, expand it. Doesn't it make it more special though? Don't you look forward to December?
[0:48:47] Geoff: I do, but it could be themed. Every day, you should be able to break through perforated cardboard.
[0:48:53] Gavin: Oh. Yes. Maybe in July, it's little sunscreens.
[0:48:58] Andrew: Some sunscreens, that could be fun. Yeah. Some lotions. Maybe February, it's a different jerky. I don't know. There's a lot of stuff you could do.
[0:49:06] Geoff: February could be chapstick because it's cold outside. Oh, chapstick is interesting. Could be some lotion for your dry skin.
[0:49:13] Andrew: I think this is just an interesting way to determine, like, I don't really use chapstick. I don't even know what type of chapstick I would like, but if I could get a bunch of different chapsticks to make the determination, I would know.
[0:49:25] Gavin: You know what would be an amazing advent calendar? I'm not sure how you would store it or keep it nice. If there was a Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake Advent Calendar where you can sample the whole range of cheesecakes. You just get a different cheesecake every day. Just a bite of each cheesecake. Wow. I think that'd be phenomenal.
[0:49:43] Eric: A slice of cheesecake every day.
[0:49:46] Gavin: Just like a little cheesecake cube behind a door.
[0:49:49] Andrew: It wasn't a cheesecake thing, but it was a similar idea where there's a really delicious chocolate place in town. Like, they make their own chocolates, and they did an advent calendar, and it was nice for me because typically when I go there, I'm only going to get what I know I like, which is kind of a limited range. This allowed me to try a much larger menu to expand my potential interests in the different types of chocolate they have.
[0:50:14] Gavin: I feel like whenever I've done that with fancy chocolate, I just learn about all the different types of chocolate that I don't like.
[0:50:21] Eric: Oh, the 13th. I hate it.
[0:50:24] Andrew: Did you like most of them, Andrew? I enjoyed most of them, but it's also a thing for me where if I were to just buy this thing that I didn't end up liking, that's not fun, but if you put a mystery behind it and it doesn't feel like I specifically bought that thing, it makes that dislike a lot easier. Nice. It's like, ah, I didn't really care for that. I wonder what'll come tomorrow. Like, it's not. Yeah, I see that.
[0:50:48] Gavin: I regret. Like, you just got a little bit of bad luck as opposed to you being a chump.
[0:50:51] Eric: Yeah, exactly.
[0:50:53] Gavin: Yeah, I like that.
[0:50:54] Eric: Is there a need to unify the amount of days in the advent calendar? Are we doing like summer eight advent calendar days and summer 25 advent calendar? Like, do you care? No, I don't.
[0:51:04] Andrew: I think it has to follow the actual calendar, and then I think the leap year calendar year should be a lot of fun. Hang on. You just get a bonus.
[0:51:13] Eric: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. So, you are, so these aren't just advent calendars that you could buy anytime and just start and do them as you want. You're saying that it should, think these things should like cover like a full year?
[0:51:26] Andrew: I think, like, they should all be reflective of the month that they're releasing it.
[0:51:31] Geoff: It's a new calendar every month, but it follows the days of the month.
[0:51:33] Andrew: Yes. It follows the days of the month. Oh, so it does go, it goes like the full month.
[0:51:37] Geoff: Like, these should go the full month.
[0:51:38] Andrew: Yeah, it goes every day of the month. So, and like when we have an extra day. Okay. Got to cover that.
[0:51:45] Geoff: Should we do a one-time supplemental where we spin a wheel of, let's say, 11 months, and then the month we land on, we then create an advent calendar? What would be in the advent calendar for that month?
[0:51:59] Eric: I'm all for it. That's what's fun.
[0:52:00] Geoff: So, you're saying that like, what, like, say we land on March. Yeah, then we create the regulation March advent calendar. I'm not saying we put it into production. We just say like, on the first, these are the 30 things you would get. 31, I think, in March. Yeah.
[0:52:16] Eric: And it should feel like it's tied to that month somehow?
[0:52:19] Geoff: Yeah, it would be month appropriate. So, it'd be like, if it was May, it'd be a lot of Easter themed shit. You know, like July would be a lot of firework-y, you know, patriotism shit. I would assume September would be back to school-themed, you know?
[0:52:34] Eric: Imagine getting, imagine opening your July advent calendar, and it's the 18th, and it's like, oh, another firework.
[0:52:40] Geoff: Oh, yeah, but you get it, you get it, like, you get it leading up to it. You're probably getting like an American flag koozie or something on July 18th, but yeah. So, it's American-specific? It doesn't have to be. Hmm.
[0:52:53] Eric: Interesting.
[0:52:54] Geoff: Interesting. Yeah, it's just the first thing that pops into mind when I think of summer in America is, yeah.
[0:52:59] Eric: Yeah, that's fair. And that is my take. I like trying different advent calendars for different stuff like that. That's, uh... All right, so I'm gonna write this down. Okay.
[0:53:07] Geoff: Put it in the bit barrel. Calendar, wheel, month, make. Calendar, wheel, month, make. Yeah. Calendar, wheel, month, make. I write like Charlie Kelly reads.
[0:53:21] Andrew: Great. And with that, we go to the takester for their final take. Woo-hoo!
[0:53:29] Geoff: Okay, so my final take, my second take of the episode, I'm so excited to be able to get to this, is a take that Andrew actually put into my brain about 18 minutes ago, so it may not be the most thought-out take in the world. I apologize. I'm kind of writing this in real time, so bear with me. But, you know, earlier, I'm trying to come up with takes that improve the quality of humanity, improve the quality of the world. Like with my first take, there was a lot of division, at least in my country, America, United States of America, not feeling so united right now. And maybe if we were all feeling a little more purple, maybe we would, right? Similarly, I'm thinking, taking that a little bit and putting it on a global scale, right? It's a fractured world we're living in right now. When we're at our best, it's, I think, as a global society, it's when we're all competing in Andrew's aforementioned Olympics, everybody rooting their country on in the spirit of
[0:54:29] Geoff: competition, good-natured competition. And even though we're rooting against each other actively, we're all kind of rooting for the competition in the same way. And there's a, I feel like a real welcoming spirit where even if I'm rooting against Germany and I'm America, I'm still rooting for Germany in the sense that I'm happy that everybody's there and we're competing and it makes us feel all globally connected, right? But we're a couple hundred years into this iteration of the Olympics and things have gotten a little rote, a little boring. I think we need to spice it up a little bit. I think we need to innovate. And I think as a global society, we need to innovate. We've taken our foot off the gas pedal. We've ceded space to these billionaire dickheads like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos and Branson. And that's where we're letting these guys choose our space future. We shouldn't be doing that. Here's what we do. All right. We make a third Olympics, moon Olympics, low gravity, the fucking, the records are going to be getting broken left and right. The only catch is to participate in moon Olympics, you got to get to the moon.
[0:55:34] Geoff: It's going to usher in a global space race so that everybody from the smallest country to the largest now has a space program. We're all working towards something as a society. We're working towards space. And then when we get to the moon, we see who can jump the farthest.
[0:55:49] Gavin: I like the first, the first event in each moon Olympics is the literal space race.
[0:55:53] Eric: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. A hundred percent.
[0:55:58] Gavin: Awesome.
[0:55:59] Eric: That's cool. How do you, so how do we get, how, how do we get there? Spaceships? If I'm just, say I'm just like a guy and I want to watch the moon Olympics. Oh, you probably want, you, they'll, it's going to be on Peacock. Oh, you can watch it on Peacock. I want to go and root on USA. Is there like a way to do that?
[0:56:19] Geoff: Oh yeah. There's going to be a, there'll, the international Olympic committee, the IOC will create a, like a global, uh, uh, moon based village, you know, kind of like the Olympic village where all the athletes stay, cause they're going to have to have that anyway, but they'll, they'll include hotels and amenities and it'll be large enough so that, uh, representatives from, uh, each country can go root their, their respective country on it. Oh, realistically, it'd probably be pretty expensive, like going to the Superbowl and you know, only the haves, we'll get to do it very few have knots, but that's just the way these things work.
[0:56:53] Gavin: Would the logo be five overlapping moons?
[0:56:55] Geoff: Oh, yes, it would. Wow. Yes, it would. Yes, it would.
[0:57:02] Andrew: That's a great idea of the space race being the first event. I think having a race to the first, like an Olympic event where the Olympics start with whoever gets their first wins of gold is so fun.
[0:57:16] Geoff: Every country's rocket takes off at the exact same second and the first person, first three to dock or win the space race.
[0:57:22] Eric: Uh-huh.
[0:57:24] Gavin: That's great, Eric. Pole vault, I think would be good as well. It's like a interesting moon sport.
[0:57:29] Eric: Yeah, oh, wow. I think like the dashes, like the running would be like so much slower. Yeah, like you, they could try, but I think it would be like really tough, but a bunch of
[0:57:41] Gavin: dust.
[0:57:42] Eric: Yeah, but dude, just saying like every other sport would be insane. I want to watch somebody hit a baseball around the whole moon.
[0:57:53] Geoff: Think about soccer, basketball, baseball, fucking skateboarding. Can you imagine the vert people are going to get on the half pipe on the moon? 900, show me a 9,000. Exactly, exactly.
[0:58:06] Gavin: I guess the swimmers should probably stay home.
[0:58:10] Geoff: They'll figure out ways to innovate, you know? You adapt and overcome. That's what we do as humans.
[0:58:16] Andrew: I want to see a bunch of astronauts breakdance.
[0:58:20] Geoff: Maybe Australia will get its redemption on the moon.
[0:58:24] Andrew: Oh, but nobody recognizes it because it happened on the moon. Exactly. Oh, yeah.
[0:58:29] Gavin: I'm trying to think of stuff that'll be faster because there's no air resistance.
[0:58:32] Geoff: Yeah.
[0:58:33] Gavin: Yeah. So.
[0:58:34] Geoff: Like shooting bows and arrows and stuff would be insane.
[0:58:38] Gavin: Yeah, surely a javelin would go far.
[0:58:40] Geoff: Yeah. And there's a dark side of the moon, right? So there's snow probably. So you could have winter Olympics, winter moon Olympics and summer moon Olympics. Why would that be snow? Well, you could put it in because it'd be so cold there. Okay. You could import snow. I got news for you. There's not snow where we're having the winter Olympics now in the world. We're having it imported and we're severe. I don't know if you've noticed, but the list of available places to have a winter Olympics on earth is shrinking every four years.
[0:59:06] Gavin: Yeah. But just the dark side of the moon isn't literally dark. It's just we can't see it. And it would be like hundreds of degrees hot most of the time. Oh, well, wherever it's coldest on the moon is where we're going to put our, we're going to put wherever it's nighttime on the moon.
[0:59:18] Andrew: But honoring Olympic rules, if you get caught with steroids, you have to compete on the dark side of the moon. There you go. Exclusively can compete.
[0:59:29] Geoff: Who needs steroids when you've got moon gravity, you know?
[0:59:33] Eric: Oh, that's a good point. You got caught with steroids, you're banished to the dark side of the moon. It's crazy.
[0:59:40] Andrew: These aren't even for them. This is for back on earth. I don't need these for the moon Olympics.
[0:59:48] Gavin: It's just the same, the exact same Olympics, but just untelevised.
[0:59:53] Geoff: Shohei Otani is going to hit a baseball so fucking hard that it breaks up in the moon's atmosphere.
[1:00:00] Eric: Yeah.
[1:00:01] Geoff: Yeah. The moon's atmosphere. Like it's going to go, it's going to, it's going to leave the moon's atmosphere and it's going to catch on fire and go and fizzle out. It'd be like the end of the natural.
[1:00:11] Andrew: Will there be like an Olympic torch ceremony?
[1:00:13] Geoff: Yeah.
[1:00:14] Andrew: Oh, wow. Okay.
[1:00:16] Gavin: How do you get the flame? You put it in a bubble. Yeah. Oxygen bubbles.
[1:00:20] Geoff: Yeah. That's like a pipe. System of pipes. I don't know. I'm not, the vanessas, we got, dude, we got little robots driving around Mars right now that have been there for like 20 years. I'm not worried about us figuring out how to have an Olympic torch on the moon.
[1:00:34] Andrew: I will say in the world in which we're accepting the Olympics are occurring on the moon, the torch functionality really does not seem like that hard of a thing to figure out. Yeah. Of all of the issues to solve, I don't think that's number one, but I like moon Olympics,
[1:00:51] Geoff: Jeff. Yeah. Thank you very much. I was going to say, also, we've all played moon base alpha, right? I assume it would work some way like that. Interesting.
[1:00:57] Andrew: I don't know if I have played moon base alpha.
[1:01:01] Gavin: Maybe the first moon Olympics is just, we send robots ahead of the humans and it's done remotely first. And then those robots can work on like constructing all the stuff that humans will need.
[1:01:12] Andrew: It's like robot wars or whatever that show is called. It starts as like, we're all working together. Interesting. Very interesting. I'm so excited to see the poll. So how this works, Jeff, is we have a poll that comes out the day after this airs. When, which the community decide who has the worst takes, this is going to be a tough one for them to judge. I think, I think everybody had fantastic takes.
[1:01:35] Eric: Yeah. These are pretty good. Especially for the, for the, the new takester for the new takester.
[1:01:41] Andrew: Yeah. Making his debut in episode two, like all great comic villains. He doesn't show up in issue one. That's right. He comes up later. Yeah.
[1:01:50] Gavin: Maybe Nick was the taker and Jeff replaced him as the takester.
[1:01:53] Andrew: Oh, thank you so much. For listening to episode two of regulation takes. Make sure to check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash the regulation pod or regulatory on.com. If you'd prefer, we had great takes. If you think one of us deserves an idiot flag, we have those in the store, buy it. And then just think about us, hold it in your hand and think this person's an idiot. I channel it, buy it.
[1:02:19] Eric: And then think about us.
[1:02:21] Geoff: This is the physical representation of my dislike for Gavin's take.
[1:02:25] Gavin: I like the idea of us having a website and all of our heads are at the top and we just pin an idiot flag on whoever's lost this recently. That's a funny idea. Pretty good.
[1:02:36] Andrew: Until then though, have a great rest of your day. Thank you so much for listening. Bye. Bye. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now.
[1:02:40] Unidentified: Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now. Bye now.
